Actually It’s a Mission Statement

Today, I’m starting a new phase in the life of Rokken Roll:
Shorter posts, more frequently, peppered in between the long-winded columns. You kids don’t have time for delay tactics and introspection when you’re cruising the blog circuit. Getting caught means getting fired, and getting fired means printing resumes, and that’s just not worth the effort. Besides, twelve paragraphs is so 2003. The new model for the universe is adult ADD (or so I read in Paper) and so let’s give them what they want. I am modern. I am in the moment permanently. VH1 is the future of culture, and so I will be too. Calling it ADHD is so 2001.

So in the spirit of quick-cut narration, being topical and current and completely disposable, I race to the point of the piece. It’s a head’s up, if you will, about this kid from Chicago who’s about to blow up. His name’s Kaynie West, and I don’t want to say I discovered him, but…I’ve known about this cat for a long time. Some people say he’s a backpack rapper (like that’s an insult), but I think he’s more like those luxury trunks people used to take on transatlantic liners. He’s battered and elegant and timeless, is what I think I’m trying to say. He got into a car accident and almost died, and had his jaw wired shut, and then he rapped through the wire on a track called “Through the Wire”! Isn’t that sick?

He’s so underground that when you google him you get absolutely no references. How street is that? Even my grandmother shows up on some family tree website, and she never even put out an album. But for serious though, just wait until his next record drops. His name will be everywhere, and you will thank me then.

I love you, Kaynie. Good luck out there.