A Bit of a Letdown

According to Spin.com, the kings of Strong Island have been doing more than gelling their hair and opening tanning salons: “Gotti brothers linked to 50 Cent shooting”.

HOLY SHIT! The shooter on the grassy knoll was Carmine! I always knew those kids were hard as nails, but fuck! (Frankie: "Puddup a you hand! Ima shootoo ena face!" 50: "Go fuck yourself, pizza pie." Nine shots ring out. 50: "My jaw! My beautiful jaw!") People love to take their potshots, pointing out the obvious--kids who do D-list celebrity singing shows or write cookbooks for fat people shouldn’t pose like tough guys—but give the kids a break. They’re getting paid, and what’s more gangster than that?

And now they're gonna take credit for shooting 50? I had these guys pegged all wrong!

Actually, it turns out if you actually read the article that “the Gotti brothers” referred to Irv and Chris Gotti, the guys from Murder, Inc. I guess that makes more sense, but man. For those brief seconds between reading the headline and clicking on the link, I thought the universe was so much cooler than it actually is.